When the seasons change, we often note the passing of time and take a look at where we are. We examine our home, our finances, the three pounds we’ve gained over the winter. Have you ever thought about spring cleaning your relationships?
It’s unfortunately very easy to fall into a rut, and take people for granted. It’s easy to overlook little things, not realizing that they’re becoming larger problems. It’s too easy to spend time with people simply because you always have, and someday you might realize you don’t even like them.
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A great way to give any relationship an examination and little kick in the pants is to go on an adventure together. It doesn’t have to be expensive or time consuming. Try a new restaurant on the other side of town, go to the museum or try bowling.
Check out your local listings for something unusual to you. It’s fun to check blogto.com’s “Things to do in Toronto this week” lists. (We have a sandwich festival?) https://www.blogto.com/radar/2018/04/toronto-events-april-16-2018/
Getting out of your comfort zone triggers new conversations and different trains of thought. If you’re out moving around, there will likely be a mix of side by side and face to face conversations. This can be helpful, as being shoulder to shoulder can create relaxed intimacy, and is better for men to open up, and women prefer face to face conversations so that they can read expressions.
Self-therapy can be a great start – simply shine a light on the situation, and take a good look. With romantic relationships and marriage, it’s a wonderful first step, and can help you analyze whether you should have a few heart to heart conversations to see how things are going, or if it’s a good idea to consider therapy.
Therapy doesn’t have to be years spent on the couch, examining every minute detail of your childhood. It can be a few sessions for a light ‘tune-up’. You have your car checked every few years. Why not have a relationship check-up? This can prevent issues from building up, and teach you how to manage conflict.
You can start couples therapy on your own, even if there is nothing wrong with the relationship. It’s healthy to sit down for a conversation about your fears, your thoughts for the future, your life.
Of course, there is a cost involved, but most relationships are worth forgoing a few dinners out or a new pair of shoes. Here is a solid discussion of whether the cost of therapy is worth it: https://www.regain.us/advice/therapist/couples-therapy-cost-is-it-worth-it/
Spring is finally coming. Let’s catch up on laundry, scrub the kitchen, and take a look at our social circle and romantic relationships. A bit of examination and thought can keep things tuned up and working well.
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