It is always okay to ask for help. No matter what your current circumstances, if you need it, please ask for help, or go get it.
I recently read an article about a very famous singer who had a terrible altercation with someone at a red carpet event. She was extremely upset, and realized that she craved a drink. She left the event as soon as she could, and went to a group meeting.
Now, this group is well known for being ‘anonymous’, so I’m not sure why this was in the news. But I’m extremely proud of this lady for taking care of herself and going to get assistance and support immediately when she needed it. Publicity and persona be damned – she needed help, she got help.
However, I see many people struggle with this decision daily, as if asking for assistance is some kind of a failure when in fact it is part of our human existence. The tribe is supposed to take care of its own.
It takes a village to raise a child. I sincerely believe this. We are shaped by everyone around us, and our parents could not be there every moment of every day. We learn from others, we are protected by others, and every now and then it is going to be someone else’s mom who tells us how to behave.
I was bitten by a dog when I was very young, and I ran to my friend’s house since it was closer than my own. Her mother patched me up with a bandage, and took me home. I needed help, so I asked the nearest available mom. It was automatic.
Children ask for help all the time – it’s how they learn and grow, and how they test the dangers in an uncertain new world.
We never stop needing our village. Our community, circle of friends, relatives, acquaintances – they all shape who we are and how we live.
At what point do we begin to have hang ups about asking for help and support?
We try to be independent as teenagers, as we test ourselves, and take steps toward adulthood. Even as young adults, we ask for help less often, but sometimes. We have to admit that we don’t know everything yet, and there are still some things we are figuring out.
No matter where we are in our lives, there will always be some things where we aren’t experts. There will always be some things that we’ll never know.
We have no qualms about calling a plumber or electrician to help with house repairs. We find it completely normal to consult a doctor about health issues. No average person is expected to understand the legal system, so we consult a lawyer.
Mental health, anxiety, stress, and being overwhelmed by modern life are all things where we should be free to consult a professional. There are books, online counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists – there are many resources in this world for people who require assistance.
The total overload from our daily lives takes its toll. There is no reason to be shy about it. People are completely open when they find a personal trainer or workout class that they like, in order to tune up their physical body. When we need to tune up our brain and mental faculties, why should that be any different?
I feel that we should be safe and comfortable asking our friends for advice and help about any number of things. We can also consult with our friends for advice on whether we should ask for professional help.
In the spirit of asking for help,
here are three ways you could help someone today:
1. If you see someone struggling, send them a personal message. Don’t just click “like” or make a quick comment. Actually take the time to text or message them. Ask them if they are okay, if they need to vent. Perhaps take them out for coffee. An hour of your time could truly comfort someone who is struggling. If you think that someone close to you needs professional help with any aspect of their life, find a way to gently suggest it to them. Whether it is a therapist, a nutritionist, or a roofer, make the suggestion.
2. My friend’s dog needs expensive dental work, and she has very little money. If you love pretty pets, and would like to see Phoenix smile, perhaps you could donate any small amount here: Help Phoenix at You Caring.
3. Share positive things. There is so much negativity online, it is up to each of us to check our social media balance. Help out your friends and associates by sharing great, positive links and ideas. Also, if your contacts have an event, show, sale, website, or launch, share that with your own circle as well!
It is always okay to ask for help, and it is always okay to ask if you may give help. Let’s all keep our eyes open, and be a closer knit village for each other.
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