After the Valentine’s Love Fest

Everyone thinks of romantic love on Valentine’s Day, but why not take a few minutes to explore all of the different kinds of love we have in this world?

There can be a letdown after Valentine’s Day, but there doesn’t have to be. Whether or not you have a romantic partner, it’s better if the amount of love in your life is spread over many areas. Don’t let the fake chocolate and roses holiday be the only occasion to examine the love in all areas of your world.


There are all sorts of deep, platonic love. Most of us like our friends, but do we ever express these feelings? What is the last time you gave your friend a giant bear hug, and said, “I love you buddy”?

Many people have trouble expressing those sorts of emotions, which is kind of a shame. We express ourselves constantly through Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and Snapchat and all the rest. We share with the world every time we eat a fancy dinner or see an amazing sunset. Feelings and emotions are part of our lives – why shouldn’t they be shared as well?

Know thyself.
~ ancient Chinese aphorism

Love thyself.
~ common sense

You are worthy of love. It doesn’t matter who you are, and what you do, you are worthy of love. It is a lot easier to believe this if you are not an axe murderer or something overtly evil. But assuming you are any kind of a decent person, you are worthy of love.

We spend a lot of time looking at our flaws, wondering if we can improve things, and wishing that things were different. How about taking a moment to celebrate the fabulous things about ourselves? It’s not arrogant, it’s healthy to be self-aware.

Take a moment to list five great physical attributes about yourself. Perhaps your arms are really strong, your lips are a wonderful shape, your eyebrows are mysteriously symmetrical.

It doesn’t have to be anything of great importance, just some cool things about you physically that are pretty fabulous.

Now take a moment to list five great mental attributes about yourself. Are you patient, kind, curious? Do you ask interesting questions that draw people out? Do you see connections where others don’t?

What life experiences do you have that are unique to yourself? What have you learned that could help others? Are you able to share some of these life lessons with your housemates, your coworkers, your siblings, your friends?

Sidenote – I am in a pub writing with a friend and Loverboy just came on. I don’t believe in signs, but that is totally a sign.i-have-a-secret_FEBknowtheyselflovethyself


What places do you absolutely love? Do you get there often enough? Studies have shown that the most pleasurable part of a vacation is the planning phase. If you have a favourite restaurant, theatre, or museum, plan to go there at least a few times per year.

Bring new people to your special, beloved places, and share it with them. Show your friends something new, something special. If there are events you love but haven’t been out in a while, plan an outing, a mini-adventure. Grab some coworkers and go to a special exhibit at the art gallery. Phone your siblings to plan a camping trip. If you don’t make a plan, it will never happen, and the season will be over before you know it.

It’s also important to love some of the things in your life. This is not intended in a materialistic way. Being too in love with your car is a bit weird. How about the vibe of your home? Or your book collection that you’ve been working on for years? Perhaps you have grown a fabulous selection of cactii, or an herb garden. Or treasure a family heirloom quilt that your Nana made for you.

If you are surrounded by things that you love, that carry warmth and meaning, your life will be infused with elements of joy. Don’t purchase things because they are trendy or it seems convenient. Select items that bring you happiness.

When I needed a new giant coffee mug, I didn’t run out to the nearest chain store to grab the latest season’s style. I waited until I found something special. Something unusual that would amuse me every single day. A few weeks later I was in Wawa, Ontario – the farthest north I’d ever been. I bought a giant white mug with the Wawa Goose on it. Every single morning I use that for my coffee, I smile, remember my trip, and am thankful that I occasionally get to run away on adventures.

People, places, and things can all be infused with love. We can be surrounded with it every day.

We don’t need the cheesy cheap roses and chocolates to force the concept of love down our throats once a year. Now that it’s after Valentine’s Day, think about your life and what parts of it you love, and be thankful every single day.



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If you’d like some inspiration with goal setting, planning, fighting anxiety, and reinventing yourself, please check out my new ebook:
Never Be Yourself – You’re Better Than That.



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